Simple enough for me though, was to make that my intention on my mat today at another 'Flow' session. By simply opening to my 'situation' becoming resolved there was an even greater opening for me to release some unneeded energy. Esme took us through class today and before class, they usually read a quote for us to take into our practice with us if we wish. This is the first time for me, where we started practice with meditation before beginning and she read EXACTLY what I needed to hear to let go of some emotions.
Our Deepest Fear - Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
I could feel the tears welling up, the lips beginning to pout and my chest and throat getting tight. 'Breathe Kelly, breathe.' I have heard that quote at least 30 times...even heard Marianne herself say it! And today, sitting in that hot room on my mat, my eyes closed, I heard it as if it was spoken JUST for me, as if my guides were screaming it in my ears. (They were!) I felt it.
It was an interesting practice. I fell out of poses left and right, sat out and rested, got put into new poses that contorted me like a pretzel and I had fun! Esme played music, which of course hit me in that soft spot a few times and brought more tears, but amidst the sweat, I couldn't differentiate between the two anymore!
My hips have been liberated to some degree. They don't feel quite so bound by all those muscles holding me together and my back is thanking me for listening to my body today and resting when I needed to and laughing when the core series became too ridiculous, but most of all my being and body is thanking me for trusting that it had to be the 2pm class so I could let go and bring about resolution to whatever is unresolved in my life.
At the end of class, sitting there in savasana, soaking in my sweat and all my efforts she repeated the Marianne Williamson quote (tears again) and played this...and I melted into a smile. Ray Lamontange... mmm. (I thought I might just attach the vid to the clip...make it easy:) ) There are few words that express how safe, loved and at home I felt in those moments.
It's all I needed to hear to know that everything is fine, everything is taken care of, I just need to relax and remember that I'm not alone, none of us are because whether we see it or not we are surrounded by love and that is all that matters.
I was sure to thank her for bringing that quote to practice today and she said it called out to her so strongly today and she knew she needed to share it. I called on her to speak it...in another dimension of course. "It was because of me," I said "I needed to hear exactly that in that moment, thank you for trusting." So many gifts...trust them, they may just help to heal the person in the room with you :)
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