Friday, October 30, 2009

What's a girl to do?

Lately I've been realizing 2 things. One- most of my close friends are either married or in very committed and long term relationships. Two- the rest of my friends are either single and dating or single until they are rescued by their knight in shining armour or both. lol. Having been single for, well I guess I'm nearing two years now, I'm beginning to wonder...what's a girl to do?

Do we hit up the dating scene? That can be anything from friends hooking us up to finding our way around online dating sites to asking the guy in line if he's single. But really, what is the dating scene? Is it one date, many dates, a few dates with different people? Who made the rules to this stupid game?! Oh that's right, there really aren't any, yet we all have picked up rules and expectations of what we think dating is or isn't.

To be quite honest, I've never been one for dating. My impatience and desire to get to the point of "What are we doing, yes, no, maybe, sometimes?" usually prevents any sort of surprise or element of progression, which I'm realizing is ACTUALLY where all the fun is. My impatience had my mind so far in the future I was never paying attention to what was in the moment, who I was, who they were, what we had in the moment, what my heart was saying! My goodness, if I had just stopped and listened to my heart every now and again I could have saved some tears for a good ol' sappy chick flick!

There was a point when my impatience took me out of the moment and into some far off fantasy land or my own personal hell. It's quite interesting the stories that we can conjure up when outcomes are unknown and fantasies are outlandish and unrealistic.

I will say that I have made progress. I have become more in tune with the messages my heart speaks to me. A date I went on not too long ago involved myself and a gentleman I had never met in person before and he was picking me up for our date. Most say that I'm a very grounded and calm person, easily excitable at times, yet all in all, quite put together. Not this night! Of all the nights to get all nervous and excitable it had to be date night!!!

There was quite a bit of conversation helped along with too many glasses of wine. Water spillage and catching my toe on the sidewalk on the way out. At least I provided some entertainment and flirty teasing. Really though... I had a lot of fun. I stayed present to all the comments, direct and somewhat indirect, I understood that I was in the right place and I let the night flow.

Now, it would be a perfect world if we were all mind readers and knew what the other person what thinking, but only I can do that....well I'm still working on it! lol
In most cases, I feel it is safe to say that both people have communicated whether or not there's going to be a 'next time' after the first date and things continue along naturally.

My next question lies in the grey area...What's a girl to do? When things suddenly seem less sunny? When maybe both people are trying to figure out who should call who because they're both nervous or confused,or there's a little bit of decreased communication or maybe one person just doesn't want to continue and hasn't told the other person...or maybe life got in the way and somehow slipped their mind.

It's like a sixth sense though and everyone has it, I can feel when things shift from good to awkward. I used to be all over it wondering what the hell was going on and what was up. Now I'm recognizing that shift and then asking myself whether or not I let myself get trapped by it or take the initiative and courage and move forward, whatever that next step might be to whatever the outcome might be. Until you take it, you'll never know. Haha, until I take it, I'll never know.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Let's Look at the Positive

My last post was about being yourself and it was in response to other people using our material.

I am currently reading Habitually Great: Mastering the Law of Right Action; a book about awareness of our beliefs and how they create habitual actions, written by a good friend of mine, Mark Weinstein. I already knew that thoughts lead to feelings lead to actions lead to results.

T -> F -> A = RESULTS

But I was missing the link, for me, between the thoughts/feelings and actions. I've been more aware of my actions lately as I haven't been quite so content with the results I'm looking at in my life right now and I realized that some of my actions weren't serving me, but I didn't know where it stemmed from. I recognized some beliefs I had that were initiating these self-sabataging actions such as eating crappy foods, not exercising, eating 1/2 of the batch of homemade peanut butter chocolate chip cookies over the course of a few days...ugh. The thoughts and feelings about doing those things were serving me, but my actions were so habitual it didn't matter!

So with the knowledge of people using our material I looked at all the negative implications for us and for that person. Today, after reading a chapter in that book I had a shift. We should be flattered that people like our stuff so much they want to use it themselves! So thank you for showing your love by using our material!

See the opportunity!

Monday, October 12, 2009

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

This is a quote by Oscar Wilde. It is only fair to give him credit for he was the one who came up with it.

I've recently been confronted with some people who have more or less been copying what Katie and I have spent seven months building and pouring our heart into. It's quite unnerving. At the same time it's a great reminder to me that we all start somewhere and need to start with something. I'm also reminded about how I have given thanks, how appropriate on the weekend of Canadian Thanksgiving, to those who helped me or whose material I used. It's kind of like the difference between plagarism and paraphrasing, just in the spectrum of life rather than literary work.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

It's such a powerful quote for me because it really brings home the fact that I can only be who I am. Even in times of chaos when I've been grasping to find something I can take hold of and run with; I remembered this. When I was confused about who I was, where I belonged and what I had to give; I remembered this.

My Dad passed along some words to me when I was in University. My Grandma used to tell him, "You can be anything you want to be." I expanded it to, "You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do."

And so I began to ask myself who I really wanted to be! It took years before that answer revealed itself to me...5 to be exact and in that period of 5 years I tried on many hats and none seemed to fit. Well there were a few hats that fit for a little while. I tried on my last hat just over a year ago when I started blogging. That hat fit like a glove...or a hat... :) However, I didn't realize that at the time. I sort of had to grow into it if you will. Blogging allowed me to be myself. It was original, unique and me because I was writing! I was oblivious to what a blog even was when I first started mine.

One thing I was very clear about when I started my blog, was that if I used anyone elses material I would give them props. It's out of integrity to use someone else's material or ideas and pass it off as my own. Maybe it was the fear of being caught plagarising growing up, or maybe it's one of my core values...acknowlege people for their work if I'm using it to add to my own. I'm getting off track here.

I guess the point I'm trying to get across is very simply seen in my eyes. "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." Or for me today as I'm struggling with the thought of others trying to be me or my sister...Be yourself, I'm already taken, we're already taken... My lesson in all of this is to just sit with it and trust that my uniqueness cannot be duplicated as it is uniquely mine energetically, physically, mentally, spiritually. Knowing that is more confirmation than I need!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Calm Amidst the Chaos

Since my last post, which seems like an eternity ago, a lot has occurred. Katie and I both helped out at 2 Warrior camps and 1 more Wizard camp. Between Squamish and Sanger, CA, working 4 camps and attending one (which by the way is absolutely indescribable) I'm vibrating at a slightly higher level right now. And by slightly I mean much higher vibration!

As the camp season came to a close and the 'seminar' season began, World's Greatest Marketing Seminar was a pretty intense re-immersion into the real world. Lots of different energies mixing together in an attempt to become one for a matter of 5 days. It was a tough adjustment, but it must have been needed for our return to Ontario.

The Eastern half of the continent embodies a much less enlightened energy than the my opinion. And by less enlightened I mean that the energy in the East is more heavy, dense and more difficult to use to your advantage. There is a certain feeling of 'being stuck' and not being certain of the future that comes with the east. Maybe this is my experience in particular, maybe it's the geographic location of my hometown and maybe it's a mirror of my life. Either of the options put me in a bit of a chaotic frame of mind.

The four corners of the earth, North, East, South and West- wisdom, enlightenment, foundation, life and death...I have been living in the West allowing old parts of me that are no longer serving me to die away to make room for new creations, new ways of thinking and new ways of living. While doing that I was creating a solid foundation for which to live my life. And I guess it's only logical that I head to the east to welcome the enlightenment. Welcoming enlightenment means welcoming all the lessons and opportunities of growth it presents to you.

Maybe coming home to Ontario and being in this energy is the opportunity I've been given to grow. An opportunity to really understand what it means to unconditionally open my heart, accept what is and utilize it for a greater purpose. What is that greater purpose?

I just finished reading a book called 'The Dream Giver' by Bruce Wilkinson. I'm not sure which part of the story I'm at in my life....I know I've been in Sanctuary for a little while, but I'm somewhat feeling like I'm approaching the Giants...the obstacles that seem to get in my way repeatedly. I'm being asked to commit...but to what? I know I've got a dream...I've got many and maybe THAT'S what I need to do...clarify which dream it is that I'm pursuing right now.

How many samples do I need to experience before I find out which one it is I want to buy in to? The chaos that comes with making those decisions only reminds me that it's a period of creation, that there is something brewing for me that is greater than I have ever imagined. Will I remain the eye of the storm and weather the raging currents of anger and fear that keep overwhelming my ego self or will I remain in my Wizard, calm, the eye of the storm, resting in faith that it will turn out absolutely perfect and my call to action is literally around the corner?

As I wrote that I wondered, what is my call to action...what if it's this or that? Already getting caught up in the storm...remain present, remain calm and trusting...allow it to occur and it will pass.

This moment is the only moment that is real...