Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A Sense of Permanence...Illusory

This summer has provided me with many opportunities to see the natural cycles of death in the human world, in the business world, in the natural world. Sitting upon a pontoon floating in Ahmic Lake this past week I pondered this seeming permanence we bring with us in this life; this notion that everything will stay the same forever...until it changes (often against our will), either slowly or in a moment.

The first of these changes was the burning of the downtown in Magnetawan, where my cottage is located and where I have been going every summer for 28 years...since I was born.

When I drove in on the Monday morning it was business as usual. Stopping in for random groceries, picking up an O Magazine, just checking out what kinds of ice creams they had in stock. And then before long it was this...

And now it's simply dirt...

I know that words cannot express a heartfelt loss sometimes. Thinking back to all the places the 'Downtown Magnetawan' shirts have seen from countries and continents and all the places it will continue to see as it's legacy lives on in everyone who owns their beloved shirts.

I did and still do take serious pride in being in a collection of photos along side Jimmy Carter and his wife! (He's just left of the black man in the big photo in the middle and that's my fam directly above the black man). And yet this photo from the internet is the only remnants of that pride I have aside from my memory, as it is all gone now.

Yet even the simplest things like our neighbour no longer having the 'fish cutting board' where we used to watch her fillet fish fresh from the lake from her husband's catch nearly every morning we were there. Or perhaps the absence of frogs in our ditch or snapping turtles under the docks. Every year it feels we are left with one less seemingly permanent thing.

Or perhaps it's a friend from high school days, who you might look forward to running into randomly at the grocery store on a visit home. And then finding out they have died and that the only place to run into them is your dreams and memories.

Or perhaps its a covered bridge in Vermont or a road that you took to your friends house that no longer exists. It could be any number of things. It could even be the shift from the old you to the new you, where you look back and do not even recognise yourself for the changes you have made.

And in and amongst all this destruction is something new waiting to emerge, empty land waiting to be built or re-built upon, babies waiting to be born, ducks and geese wandering the waters instead of turtles with destructive jaws, and a fort built by the young neighbour's son which will disappear with the wind only to be rebuilt next summer, and new relationships emerging from all of this chaos. And among the depth of it all, a warrior's heart, a strong heart, a deep appreciation for all that lives and all that dies and all that resides in the inbetween of birth and death, or rebirth and death.

Yes, things change, yes sometimes it's hard to deal with and yet somehow I do. Somehow my brain and heart come together in understanding this cycle, they come together and form a bond with each other, for what my head cannot deal with, my heart can and always does. This sense of permanence we all bring with us is not what is exterior to us, it is what is interior to us, it is what we are made of, it is our spirit being projected outward. And in our world of duality, even Me...as a physical being, am impermanent, just like you, just like the covered bridges and friends and downtowns. Somewhere in the in between of constantly being reborn unto myself until my own physical death...

I choose to live life fully, to embrace the emotion of change with love and delight in the midst of grief, for a new dawn is coming...it's just beyond our sight.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

When You Make The First Dollar

I am currently at Ultimate Internet Bootcamp in New Jersey and I am learning how to create a website that actually makes money. I have had more than enough breakthroughs in the first three days to keep me busy in analysis for a LONG time. At the same time I've made so much progress that I've already made money while I have been here! Currently we are in the process of having a contest for our new $1 Guide that we created!

It became very clear to me this week that what I thought I wanted to help people with was indeed something very different than what I actually help people with and like doing! As you well know, I write a lot about how everything in my life helps me to better understand who I am and as a result of that I now have a guide to help others!

I am so excited that I actually created something that is simple and easy to understand for other people to better understand themselves! AND it's only $1!

I would love if you would support me in this...it means the world that I can share something to help others find that more clarity in understanding who they are.

If you are game and open to taking a risk for $1 on what I have to offer, I will be so very very greatful!

I love you guys. Your support is continually encouraging me to continue sharing my gift and helping others.

Click on the link to get your $1 Guide!

Much love.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Too Much and Not Enough

I recently posted on Facebook about the cycles of life and the polarities we flex between in our every day living. Too much and not enough are two more polarities that we constantly live through. I am overwhelmed by some things and people and very underwhelmed by others. Am I still expecting too much of some and not enough of others?

I came to a realization last night that in my life there are people who care so much that I become overwhelmed by their constant energy of wanting to be a part of my life and know every little detail of its goings on. There are also people in my life who I wish would do a bit more of that and constantly leave me feeling as though it wouldn't matter either way if I was there or not.

I've grown up my entire life wanting more from some and less from others and no matter how I ask for what I want and need, I am simply at a point now, where it is time to let it go. Where it is time to give myself what I am asking for and accept that they can only give what they can, when they can. It's a bummer sometimes, and yet it empowers me to do things differently, to be sensitive to people and what they are asking for verbally or non-verbally and to create what I want and need in my life regardless of outside influence. It is another form of inspiration and empowerment to become an even better person than I was when I woke up this morning.

Turn it around, whatever it is, and see it from the other side. It always looks different.

Saturday, January 22, 2011


I got this in my email today from my aunt. There was a point I felt like the daughter in this story...I get it now. Ain't nothin' like a sista. That I know for sure!

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter."Don't forget your sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.""Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives, too. You'll need other women. Women always do." "What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. "Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!"But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned: THIS SAYS IT ALL : Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT.........Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you ... Or come in and carry you out.Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunts, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful. I just did.

Short and very sweet: There are more than twenty angels in this world: Ten are peacefully sleeping on clouds, Nine are playing, And one is reading her e-mail at this moment

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


It is a word that is etched on the back of a pendant I received a few years back. That pendant was 'sacrificed' so to speak, along with strength and illumination in a fire a couple of summers ago. The intention was to give up something in order to create room for more. What I have realized since is that by sacrificing those pendants I created a vaccuum for more of those specific qualities to come into my life. The strength and illumination returned quickly, within weeks, but the fulfillment I knew needed time.

I needed time. Time to find myself as a leader in my own life and in the lives of others. This past weekend provided a beautiful opportunity for just that.

This past weekend I worked my third Millionaire Mind Intensive as part of the Excel Team. I was in a leadership position the entire weekend doing trainings, answering questions, problem solving and taking on responsibility for sales at the event. I never quite understood the fulfillment aspect of leadership until one point this weekend when time stopped and allowed me just to be a part of the moment, to observe what was going on around me and to feel the gratitude and fulfillment for the amazing team of people I was working with.

I had a vision of what a great team would look like, I had a vision of being an empowering leader figure and of bringing people together in support of each other and all at the event. I did not know what that looked like visually, I simply knew how it felt and this past weekend I experienced that. I experienced the start of what my greater vision for all of humankind looks like.

I am ready for more experiences of leadership and fulfillment. I am open to more experiences of fulfillment and I am open to the abundance that all of it brings in all forms both quantifiable and unquantifiable.

And I'm ready to receive a new pendant....lol