Saturday, October 10, 2015
Taking a Lesson From the Trees
This photo recently came across my FaceBook feed and it really brought on a sense of wonder and awe as well as a desire to genuinely embrace this season of letting things go. Letting dead things go. This post really arrived at a time that preceded some chaotic stuff. "The lesson repeats itself until it is learned." was another little meme that really hit my awareness too. I believe the two are going hand in hand for me right now.
There are experiences that continue to repeat themselves. I am really digging deep to look at what is going on inside myself because I understand how painful it has been to continue running from it! I have not done it alone. I have had some seriously great pillars who have been super strong and let me lean on them. I often hear them say, "That's what friends are for" or "that's what family is for." But it goes beyond that because not all of my friends have been pillars for me. Not all of my friends would get down in the shit with me to make sure I could at least stand up.
I have never hinged my ability to get through things on my friends. Sure, a shoulder to cry on here and there or someone to vent to, but not the messy stuff. And I am soooo grateful for the ones who could see. They could see me where I was and let me be where I was without trying to make it ok. That was what I needed. I didn't need another f-ing pep-talk, I didn't need another person to tell me I would figure it out. I just needed someone to sit there with me, acknowledge that it sucked and tell me that I gotta work through it, but it would be OK. The people who have shown up for me somehow know that I have to navigate this by myself to a certain degree, but they see when I'm drowning and offer up a life jacket and a check-in to make sure everything is as good as it can be. Although they, along with me, do not know the destination I will arrive at, they somehow know when I've venture off course and bring me back to focus.
And here's the deal. There are people everywhere who struggle on a daily basis without these kinds of people in their lives or they have these people in their lives, but they don't let them help them. Your perception of my ordeal may seem irrelevant in the face of yours, because after all, our own struggles are always way more important than those around us. We are selfish by nature, there is no need to hide that. You are allowed to have your ordeals. (But I'm talking real problems here. Not Sephora discontinued my line of lipstick, or my iphone doesn't do that app right, or my Netflix wasn't working for an entire week...those are what you call luxuries) But then we look at our ordeals and compare them to people with terminal diseases, or living in war torn countries, or whatever the situation might be and feel guilty for ever thinking that our problems could warrant so much worry.
Some of your worries really do warrant worry! And sometimes comparing your ordeal to another (insert seriously large social problem here) is a means to catapult you into more gratitude! Which is great! Everybody's lives are different yet the same. We all have shit coming up for us to work on. The difference is that some of us realize that we're working on stuff and others of us just think that 'it's life' and keep rolling. Those of us who pay attention often notice the repetition of our cycles and get really tired of having the same shitty experiences over and over and get curious about what's underneath it all only to unearth more shit...oh the joy!
Somewhere in there though comes the end of shit and you can see all you have unearthed and you can take stock of what's alive and well, what is dead and what could use a little life support. When you see it all laid out there for you, you get CHOICE! You get to choose how you use all those lessons that shit churned up, you get to choose what stays and what goes and you get to have another go at it. So you begin to rebuild a new foundation without all the old shit. (There will probably be new shit that comes up, but hey, you've been here before. You know the deal. Stick it out, sift through it, take the nuggets and leave the rest.)
Life transforms you when you allow life to transform itself. When you can see that life is nudging you to have a good look at life, take the time and have a good look. These are important moments that shape the path ahead.
Let the dead things go. Their time has come.