Fear of the Unknown

Although letting go has been the theme as of late, I have discovered in some circumstances it's more about fearing the unknown than it is about letting go. When I fear the unknown I grab on to what is familiar and hold tight, not because I want or need it, but because it provides comfort in times of uncertainty.

Lately I've been (well this is kind of an ongoing theme) looking at where I am and where I thought I would be at this point in my life. Um...two totally different places! While the me in both of those visions is equally fulfilled and happy, the manner in which I got there is completely different. I wonder if I had taken a different journey, if I would have learned as much about myself as I have on this one. I wonder had I known this was my journey all along if I'd have ever envisioned the other one. Probably not because I certainly didn't expect or envision this one! Either way I have been living between these two visions trying to find the best of both worlds and integrate them together and that is just not working...period...full stop. (If you're Australian) :)

Because I had no idea about this journey - consciously - and have no idea where it will take me, other than to more of the same and better experiences, it creates fear, where as the other vision has a sort of normalcy to it, a predictability I can follow and be successful at. Not sure how successful I can be at something I don't know. So not only is the fear of the unknown that has me held back, it's my fear of failing at this unknown life that keeps me wanting to do the things I know how to do, be in situations I know I can handle. I know for certain that I am in a place right now where I am needing to trust and feel for the moment to jump because I can jump and I will land on my feet and I am more than capable of succeeding at this unknown life (that I probably created intentionally!) I haven't used this muscle of extraordinary trust in the ways I used to in quite some time. Maybe going on a road trip with $1200, no end date and only desired destinations in mind isn't in the works, but something is and I am open to it. Now, that's not fear...that's excitement!