Runaway

Is it really running away when what you are running from doesn't really even exist except in your mind?

There's these two voices having quite the argument lately. One is arguing for this supposed purpose I have in my life of empowering children to see their truth. I do believe this is what I am here to do, however the original how and what it looked like varies greatly from the dynamic how and what it looks like now; it's always changing. The second of these two voices is the one telling me that regardless of what I am doing, so long as I am an example of my own truth and live that, I'm empowering children to do the same. This voice then plants these ideas of travelling the world and being free-spirited again while taking in children in different cultures. So because I'm all about cooperation, lets see whether we can work something out? Or perhaps that is what's keeping me stuck here to begin with....this desire to amalgamate the two ideas. Why can't I choose both? Well I can; perhaps they manifest exclusive of each other though, I still get both, just in a different way.

So the question is, Am I running away if I choose to live a more free spirited lifestyle all the while knowing that regardless of where I am I am fulfilling that mission and purpose, and even if I'm not it will come back and find me sooner or later? What the heck do I really want?! Like for real...what is my hearts deepest desire, other than to be love? I'm revisiting this question of 'What's left when you've discovered that everything other than love is totally an illusion? Something else to feed the ego?' The reality is that although I am spiritual I am also HUMAN, which means there has to be some sort of practical application for of all this love and knowledge of love and desire to share love.

So because of my awareness and desire to be and share love, is that my purpose? Does it really have to be more defined than that? Do I really have to have a target group of people I want to share all this love with; like kids? Does it really have to be in certain settings?

Perhaps it would serve me to see this period of chaos and transformation for what it is....chaos and transformation. And allow it to unfold and untangle and reform and organize itself for me. Is there a declaration for eternal and infinite patience because I'm going to create one right now.

"I am eternally and infinitely patient with all processes and people in my life."

Clarity Universe, please....some clarity. I'm asking for the clarity within and without to provide me with a clear decision that I will want to commit to because then I will be running towards something as opposed to away. I will meditate and listen for your answers...patiently; I promise :)