Displacement

... the difference between the initial position of something (as a body or geometric figure) and any later position (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)

This word keeps popping into my head as I sit here feeling slightly lost. I know where I am. I'm in Vancouver and yet I somehow feel strangely disconnected from this life I have out here. Perhaps it was all the great reconnecting that occurred when I was back home in Ontario. And perhaps I am simply entering another cycle or phase in my life.

When I flew back out here it was an odd sensation of knowing that Vancouver was a city that I was no longer holding onto. I like being here and it certainly has been an amazing experience yet I'm not scared to leave it any more. I'm not attached to staying here anymore. I know I can always and will always return. So while that is brewing within me there is this growing sensation of displacement.

When I went for a walk today I spoke out loud, "I don't belong here...then where do I belong?" And as I refer to it now, I can see that it has less to do with my geographical locale and more to do with my energy and my state of being. I'm not sure what about it is off, but I feel like I'm back in high school again. Simply going through the motions of life, with a sense of purpose and knowing that I am in the right place, but without understanding why.

That was highschool. I did what I needed to do and then got the hell out of there. Mind you, at that point in my life 9 years ago (again with the cycles) I was running towards my freedom without even the slightest clue of what tied me down. This is quite fascinating for me to sit with all of this and let it integrate and release and still move forward. And this concept of cycles that I have been opened to in the past, is hitting me directly in the forehead right now and because of my age then and now, I have a clear recollection of what I was going through then and what I am going through now.

Drawing parallels is a cool thing to do. Sometimes they are my own hallucinations and other times they make total sense and resonate highly with where I am. Doesn't mean I still don't feel what I'm feeling or that I'm destined to feel that way every nine years, simply means I'm entering someplace new on a new wave length, with greater consciousness and FAR deeper understanding of who I am and my own truths.

Displacement- the difference between the initial position of something and any later position...hmm.