This post could go anywhere so I'm going to let it take us there...
Perhaps I arrived over confident,
Or perhaps you saw a chance,
A chance to make and mold me,
A puppet to do your dance.
I followed your lead with pleasure,
An observer to say the least,
And then the truth comes falling,
At last up on my feet.
My intuition valid,
Which matters not to me,
For in my communication,
I spoke who I wanted to be.
But the skills,
You do not have them,
"Um, did you read my resume Sir?
For in there you'll see
That skills are indeed
Why won't you put me to work?"
You have to be perfect,
You've been out for five years.
"Ya, and what's your point?"
In my head I was screaming,
Just let me get out
And blow this popsicle joint!
"I'm sorry I argued, but let me be clear,
There was no mention of specifics to work here.
Had I known from the start,
I'd be playing that part,
I'd have walked right on by without fear."
And now it shines clearly,
My light through the haze,
A position I've taken
To pass through the days.
And then what awaits me
Tonight as I leave
We'll put you to work,
Can you do it with ease?
In my head starts the screaming
You asshole you prick
If I were a psycho
I'd carry a stick!
A day ago you told me
I did not have the skills
And NOW you think I'm ready????
Are you on pills?!
There's no way I'm going out there
To partake in your little quiz
I'm happy to be an observer
I've caught on to your little biz.
Earn my trust?
Try me.
I'm a hard one to please
Especially when you talk to me
With such little integrity.
I'm still remaining open
To what is to unfold.
I know my future is solid
Where yours is still untold.
You think you run my show now?
Well I beg you to think again.
This brave girl here, there's no stopping.
If you earn her trust, you're in.
And perhaps you want to continue,
To play this little game.
Unfortunate for you your style
Of playing games is lame.
I see right through your story,
Your fake and phony laughs,
Try to be authentic.
Perhaps then you'd change your staff.
Ummm.....so I'm a little more than frustrated with my part time job. :)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
It's Been Renamed 'The Past'
Some people have come into my life for... 'a reason, a season, a lifetime'. And I am very familiar with this saying and I do believe in it's validity for I've experienced it.
I have, at times, become confused with whether some people were to be around for reasons, or seasons; seasons or lifetimes and it really matters very little. I learned a brilliant lesson from a tree today. As I leaned up against its trunk, I felt the need to put my arms out to my sides, slightly bent, like branches with my palms facing up. In my head I heard "You are always open to receiving. When you receive something that serves you, absorb it, allow it to become a part of you and help you grow. When it doesn't serve you, turn your palm over and say 'goodbye' with a smile and allow whatever is next for you to enter your palm."
Someone who entered my life a while ago I decided to rename "The Past" and when I looked at that name instead of their name it became crystal clear in my mind, what was clear in my heart all along. "Why are you holding onto the past? Time to let them go." And with the click of a mouse, 'goodbye'.
To some that may seem calous and rude, and that's fine. I honour that you would choose otherwise. With others I have chosen otherwise. I still love them unconditonally and they will always be a part of my journey. Perhaps they will re-enter my life again for another reason or season and that would be wonderful to see how far we've come. Until then...I let go and make room for more life, my love and more joy.
Keep creating. :)
I have, at times, become confused with whether some people were to be around for reasons, or seasons; seasons or lifetimes and it really matters very little. I learned a brilliant lesson from a tree today. As I leaned up against its trunk, I felt the need to put my arms out to my sides, slightly bent, like branches with my palms facing up. In my head I heard "You are always open to receiving. When you receive something that serves you, absorb it, allow it to become a part of you and help you grow. When it doesn't serve you, turn your palm over and say 'goodbye' with a smile and allow whatever is next for you to enter your palm."
Someone who entered my life a while ago I decided to rename "The Past" and when I looked at that name instead of their name it became crystal clear in my mind, what was clear in my heart all along. "Why are you holding onto the past? Time to let them go." And with the click of a mouse, 'goodbye'.
To some that may seem calous and rude, and that's fine. I honour that you would choose otherwise. With others I have chosen otherwise. I still love them unconditonally and they will always be a part of my journey. Perhaps they will re-enter my life again for another reason or season and that would be wonderful to see how far we've come. Until then...I let go and make room for more life, my love and more joy.
Keep creating. :)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Brave Girls Club
This brave girl...
Women in suits,
Or teens with rubber boots.
Cut and styled hair,
Or frilly pink underwear.
A world with change opens up doors,
A world of change often opens old sores.
A brave girl knows that with change; go with the flow.
A brave girl knows that no matter what, she must go.
She follows her heart.
She knows that she's smart.
She trusts her own kind.
She uses her mind.
Her love is so big.
There's no need to dig
Up the roots that she's grown,
The seeds she has sewn.
A new world she shines,
Amidst old thoughts and minds.
An era of power
With the strength of a tower.
A brave girl she stands
Always holding hands,
With her sisters so near,
And brothers so dear.
This brave girl,
She knows
How it usually goes.
And still she arrives
Changing all lives.
A brave girl she stands,
Always...
With outreached hands.
Women in suits,
Or teens with rubber boots.
Cut and styled hair,
Or frilly pink underwear.
A world with change opens up doors,
A world of change often opens old sores.
A brave girl knows that with change; go with the flow.
A brave girl knows that no matter what, she must go.
She follows her heart.
She knows that she's smart.
She trusts her own kind.
She uses her mind.
Her love is so big.
There's no need to dig
Up the roots that she's grown,
The seeds she has sewn.
A new world she shines,
Amidst old thoughts and minds.
An era of power
With the strength of a tower.
A brave girl she stands
Always holding hands,
With her sisters so near,
And brothers so dear.
This brave girl,
She knows
How it usually goes.
And still she arrives
Changing all lives.
A brave girl she stands,
Always...
With outreached hands.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Serving Purpose
On a most brilliant day of miracles last week, I was pulled into a bookstore and led straight into a smiley and warm hearted fellow I'll call T.J. He looked at me and asked me what I thought a 'meem' was. My answer was Beaker from the Muppets. Although amused, he continued on about his friend the physicist or astrophysicist or chemist... an 'ist' of some sort who discovered that meems are the eggs in the collective conscious that create our thoughts and ideas...or something to that effect. Aside from meems we got on the topic of being inutitive, watching the movie 'Hereafter' and jobs/creating opportunities for me to make money.
He made a comment in passing; in relation to what I am not sure. "So what if my parents abused me, that was the only way they knew how to cope with their lives and I was able to be there for them without judgement to heal." And then he continued on about some other person he knew in Ireland with goats... I have an entirely new perspective on the roles we play, on why and where we show up and with whom as well as why and where others show up for us.
I know this might ruffle some if not a lot of feathers. It is a hot topic and has been for a long time whether it's abuse towards people or towards substance. I in no way advocate for these sorts of human acts. I do believe however, that we choose the life experiences we want to have. I never quite understood why people would choose to be abused, but this sheds a new light on the entire concept. And in a greater sense of reality we all did choose to be abused in this life because we do it to ourself all the time, or have done it to ourselves at one point in time. The only difference is that it's between ourself instead of ourself and someone or something else.
So follow me on this one for a minute. You have two people. Say Dad is an abuser and son is the abused. Those two souls have contracted and chosen to be together in this lifetime. That son is continually showing up for his father physically in the act of abuse, but what if on a spiritual level, he is showing up continuously for his father each time to provide yet another opportunity for him to choose differently? For him to stop and understand his abuse is hurtful, not to metion, in some cases illegal. Think of the souls here, not the physical people. That child's soul was contracted to help his father's soul through this process. And vice versa. The dad doing the abusing is continually showing up and beating the boy to encourage (on an subconscious level) that boy to find his inner power, his strength and his voice to walk away and choose a better life and know he deserves the best. Do not attach faces to these souls...it's all an illusion anyway, another way to gain experience in physical bodies.
HOWEVER....in a physcial, emotional, psychological sense, in our world, this scenario plays out as perpetrator and victim and that child feels forever abused and angry and resentful and the dad guilty and ashamed. But here's the thing. If that boy found his power, his strength and his voice and chose another life, he succeeded! His soul recognized truth and transformed regardless of how it happened; he progressed. Now if the father saw the opportunities to change and took them and made changes in his life then both were success stories! BUT, if in the course of this contract the boy walked away and was unable to show his father the opportunities to change, it's not his fault, he was contracted to be a part of that process only for so long, he fulfilled his contract and moved on...the soul has no worries, there is no burden to carry, it was never his job to heal him fully, only to be a way shower. And vice versa, the father changed, but the kid never recognized his truth and went on to be abused in every other area of his life, then that wasn't for his father to teach him, he needed to find his strength and voice and power elsewhere and his soul knows this! (Which is why he never changed while with his father)
In every situation the abused is the abuser and the abuser is the abused, the enabler is the enabled and vice versa because both roles reciprocate each other, they serve purpose until purpose is no longer there to serve.
There is a deeper layer to unconditional everything. Do we choose to understand it and use this knowledge to help others or are we content to continually lay blame to the enablers of our world who keep showing up to simply create some peace within the abusers through their release so that perhaps a moment of clarity can emerge? Are we content to continually allow the abused to feel a victim to someone elses sicknesses...our world's sicknesses? Or are we ready to start empowering everyone to find the truth of their situations...regardless of how nasty they may seem in our physical world. If we have chosen to be a part of it we certainly can choose to not be a part of it. The process of liberation may not be simple or quick, but making the choice certainly is.
Just a thought...if we continue to see the labels we put on people that is all they will ever be to us. Perhaps we could see the deeper part of everyone, see the light that shines brightly or only very dimly through cynical and hurt eyes. We are all each other, and we're all serving purpose, all day, every day, for eternity.
He made a comment in passing; in relation to what I am not sure. "So what if my parents abused me, that was the only way they knew how to cope with their lives and I was able to be there for them without judgement to heal." And then he continued on about some other person he knew in Ireland with goats... I have an entirely new perspective on the roles we play, on why and where we show up and with whom as well as why and where others show up for us.
I know this might ruffle some if not a lot of feathers. It is a hot topic and has been for a long time whether it's abuse towards people or towards substance. I in no way advocate for these sorts of human acts. I do believe however, that we choose the life experiences we want to have. I never quite understood why people would choose to be abused, but this sheds a new light on the entire concept. And in a greater sense of reality we all did choose to be abused in this life because we do it to ourself all the time, or have done it to ourselves at one point in time. The only difference is that it's between ourself instead of ourself and someone or something else.
So follow me on this one for a minute. You have two people. Say Dad is an abuser and son is the abused. Those two souls have contracted and chosen to be together in this lifetime. That son is continually showing up for his father physically in the act of abuse, but what if on a spiritual level, he is showing up continuously for his father each time to provide yet another opportunity for him to choose differently? For him to stop and understand his abuse is hurtful, not to metion, in some cases illegal. Think of the souls here, not the physical people. That child's soul was contracted to help his father's soul through this process. And vice versa. The dad doing the abusing is continually showing up and beating the boy to encourage (on an subconscious level) that boy to find his inner power, his strength and his voice to walk away and choose a better life and know he deserves the best. Do not attach faces to these souls...it's all an illusion anyway, another way to gain experience in physical bodies.
HOWEVER....in a physcial, emotional, psychological sense, in our world, this scenario plays out as perpetrator and victim and that child feels forever abused and angry and resentful and the dad guilty and ashamed. But here's the thing. If that boy found his power, his strength and his voice and chose another life, he succeeded! His soul recognized truth and transformed regardless of how it happened; he progressed. Now if the father saw the opportunities to change and took them and made changes in his life then both were success stories! BUT, if in the course of this contract the boy walked away and was unable to show his father the opportunities to change, it's not his fault, he was contracted to be a part of that process only for so long, he fulfilled his contract and moved on...the soul has no worries, there is no burden to carry, it was never his job to heal him fully, only to be a way shower. And vice versa, the father changed, but the kid never recognized his truth and went on to be abused in every other area of his life, then that wasn't for his father to teach him, he needed to find his strength and voice and power elsewhere and his soul knows this! (Which is why he never changed while with his father)
In every situation the abused is the abuser and the abuser is the abused, the enabler is the enabled and vice versa because both roles reciprocate each other, they serve purpose until purpose is no longer there to serve.
There is a deeper layer to unconditional everything. Do we choose to understand it and use this knowledge to help others or are we content to continually lay blame to the enablers of our world who keep showing up to simply create some peace within the abusers through their release so that perhaps a moment of clarity can emerge? Are we content to continually allow the abused to feel a victim to someone elses sicknesses...our world's sicknesses? Or are we ready to start empowering everyone to find the truth of their situations...regardless of how nasty they may seem in our physical world. If we have chosen to be a part of it we certainly can choose to not be a part of it. The process of liberation may not be simple or quick, but making the choice certainly is.
Just a thought...if we continue to see the labels we put on people that is all they will ever be to us. Perhaps we could see the deeper part of everyone, see the light that shines brightly or only very dimly through cynical and hurt eyes. We are all each other, and we're all serving purpose, all day, every day, for eternity.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Something More in Store...
I went from zero jobs Wednesday at noon to two jobs on Thursday at noon. It's now Monday evening and I'm down to only one job. Apparently my availability didn't suit their needs and to be totally honest, I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out and I'm excited because this means that the Universe has something more for me in mind!
I can only imagine what brilliant things it has thought up for me, or in actuality, what I have thought up for myself! I've felt the shift and I'm anticipating that the other job I have at the moment won't be lasting much longer either. I'm hoping until at least the end of the month, however, I'm open to new and exciting sources of income! I'm just realizing that in the process of setting all those goals last week, I failed to stop and create a plan(s) or brainstorm all the different ways I can bring in money! I just slapped my resume out at a pile of businesses and said, "OK, who wants me!" And that's fine for now because it's keeping me occupied as well as stirring up some great and fascinating questions about what I really want, who I really am and what I'm willing to do and not do.
One brilliant idea I had in the middle of a conversation with my reflection, only my reflection was my boss at the restaurant and I was telling him exactly what I thought of how he treats his staff. Perhaps a workplace/employee relations coach or something to that effect would fit nicely into my repetoire of gifts and skills... I'll put that out to the Universe now.
And then today, as I cashed in the 'Random Act of Kindess' I found on a coffee shop bulletin board (for a MASSAGE!!!!), I pondered doing readings for people, intuitive readings...I'll put that out to the Universe now too!
You know, most people in my situation would never know who to be in this situation. Perhaps driven by fear or maybe just a need to feel successful and productive (which in essence is fear driven from a need for approval anyway) would get frustrated and angry and wonder why the world hates them and whine and complain. I can say this because I've done this, even recently! And then I say, "OK, are you done? Can we look at what other greatness there is to explore now?" and I, in a sucky voice in my head say, "Yeah, OK..." and I move on. I understand that being a creative being means creating things, opportunities, changes in my life and in my path. I understand that where I'm at right now is serving me and I am serving it as well.
It's a fascinating concept and a very supportive space to be in when trust and faith in what is unseen and yet to manifest and my dreams is all I have to work with. Alchemy... :)
I can only imagine what brilliant things it has thought up for me, or in actuality, what I have thought up for myself! I've felt the shift and I'm anticipating that the other job I have at the moment won't be lasting much longer either. I'm hoping until at least the end of the month, however, I'm open to new and exciting sources of income! I'm just realizing that in the process of setting all those goals last week, I failed to stop and create a plan(s) or brainstorm all the different ways I can bring in money! I just slapped my resume out at a pile of businesses and said, "OK, who wants me!" And that's fine for now because it's keeping me occupied as well as stirring up some great and fascinating questions about what I really want, who I really am and what I'm willing to do and not do.
One brilliant idea I had in the middle of a conversation with my reflection, only my reflection was my boss at the restaurant and I was telling him exactly what I thought of how he treats his staff. Perhaps a workplace/employee relations coach or something to that effect would fit nicely into my repetoire of gifts and skills... I'll put that out to the Universe now.
And then today, as I cashed in the 'Random Act of Kindess' I found on a coffee shop bulletin board (for a MASSAGE!!!!), I pondered doing readings for people, intuitive readings...I'll put that out to the Universe now too!
You know, most people in my situation would never know who to be in this situation. Perhaps driven by fear or maybe just a need to feel successful and productive (which in essence is fear driven from a need for approval anyway) would get frustrated and angry and wonder why the world hates them and whine and complain. I can say this because I've done this, even recently! And then I say, "OK, are you done? Can we look at what other greatness there is to explore now?" and I, in a sucky voice in my head say, "Yeah, OK..." and I move on. I understand that being a creative being means creating things, opportunities, changes in my life and in my path. I understand that where I'm at right now is serving me and I am serving it as well.
It's a fascinating concept and a very supportive space to be in when trust and faith in what is unseen and yet to manifest and my dreams is all I have to work with. Alchemy... :)
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