Yesterday Ben took Katie and I snowboarding up at Keystone which is about an hour outside of Denver. I was super excited about learning to snowboard because it's been something that I've wanted to do for a while now! And of course it was something new for me to learn!
We geared up and Ben gave me my first lesson. He taught me how to ride my heel edge, and we made an attempt at a toe edge which ended with me flat on my back. When you're using a toe edge you're supposed to stay far far away from that heel edge! It's deadly! He left Katie and I to practice while he did some runs of his own on another hill. It was good. I got a good feel for what I was capable of, but also what I needed help with for when he got back. Needless to say I spent most of the day on my ass or trying to get back on a part of the hill that would actually allow me to move!
What would have taken Ben probably 10 mins to get down ended up taking us probably like an hour and a half. This was the real test for me. Can I make it down the mountain and back to the parking lot fully intact both mentally and physically?
It was a long journey down that hill that never seemed to end, but a big learn for me as well. Since reading Dan Millman "The Life You Were Born to Live" I've experienced many situations in which I'm faced with a choice....continue to do what I was doing before or recognize what I'm doing and choose differently.
In the case of snowboarding it was about taking the time to learn the steps. Normally I'd say ok tell me what to do and I'll just go do it my own way......on the mountain yesterday there was no chance for that. Snowboarding is a process. You must learn the basics and how to control your movement to get anywhere. Once you have the basics, you need to practice them. Then after that I'm sure you can learn to do more. If I didn't enjoy snowboarding so much I'd probably just fly down the mountain, falling, doing whatever it took just to get to the bottom. For me snowboarding was the perfect challenge; not to big that I wanted to say 'f*^k it!' and just big enough that I'd be willing to put the effort in to practice and be patient just to have the success of making it down a hill without falling! It was easy for me to listen to instruction and implement it, but it was a challenge for me keep my cool after falling and to get up and do it again with the same amount of diligence and effort each time. It was easy for me to do turns when I had someone to talk me through it, but it was a challenge to talk myself through it and not get caught up in "am I doing this right? why am I not moving fast enough? stay off your toe edge!" The lesson in that was to take my time. There is no need to rush anything, it will come with practice. Follow the steps and get a good foundation and then take it from there. Get into your body and out of your head. Have patience with the process!!! It's not a wham bam thank-ya ma'am process, just like life isn't either. We're here to live it and all the processes along the way, forcing things only takes the joy out of the whole picture.
After we got done, I felt like absolute crap. 'Feel the burn' has a whole new meaning for me now and all those suicide drills in volleyball and basketball practice in highschool seem so easy in comparison to my snowboarding adventure. It was a bit of a reminder of Warrior camp as well. A reminder that I am a Warrior. I did what was hard, I never gave up, I acted in spite of my mood and inspite of fear at times as well. I saw it through to the finish line. As a Wizard I accepted the support of others instead of trying to do it all on my own, I stayed calm, I went with the flow (as much as I allowed myself to) and I accepted and utilized what was. Towards the end of the hill, it was no longer a learning about how to snowboard. My physical body just couldn't take it, I accepted that I just needed to make it to the bottom of the hill and I used that as a learning experience about myself, about what I'm capable of and what I can really do when I feel like I've got nothing left. In my mind I pretty much said, "Ok, this last bit of the hill is going to teach/show you a lot about yourself, what are you going to do? What choices are you going to make to get yourself down that hill?" I'm being completely honest when I say that I'm not sure if I would have made it to the bottom of the hill if Ben hadn't stuck back and waited for me. I would love to say that the Warrior in me would have kicked in and pushed me through, but I'm not sure...and I'm fully willing to admit that. Ben kept me focused, in the present. Just another reminder that I need people in my life to hold me accountable and to support me, to keep me on track when I'm lost in my thoughts. Someone to say "dude, I know you can do this, you're not copping out now, you're almost there".
Along the way we think that life is meant to be lived. It is, but it's also meant to be learned. There is always something new to learn about yourself, or always something you might need to be reminded of. Being aware of it is the first step.
I look forward to the next time I go snowboarding....which might be a while considering I feel like I got hit by a bus! And maybe next time....some butt pads!
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