Coming Up For Air

It's funny that my last post was about soaring above and having vision, while this one is more about being submerged and coming up for air. To go up, must one first be down and to get down, one must first be up....

I suppose there are some people who can relate to this part of life's cycles; of feeling as though you've been submerged in life so thoroughly that you only realize it when you've reached the surface and come up for air. And in my case it hasn't neccessarily been an easy submersion, although easy and hard are only perceptions; it's been one of deep remembering, deep growth and deep feeling.

1. I had no idea I had so much love to give one person.
2. I had no idea how much love and acts of love I am able to receive.
3. I had no idea that I actually did know all of this and that I simply needed a reminder.

Being submerged, so to speak, was a cycle of great expansion for me in that I recognized and met many forms of resistance with understanding and love and a desire to move beyond it. I opened my heart, my consciousness and my being to all sorts of possiblities. I put myself in many positions where I might have 'gotten hurt' or had my heart broken. The real truth about hurt though is that it's another expression of love. It's the process of letting go, of grieving. At least that's how I percieve it.

So anyway, it feels good to be able to take a breath again and to get my feet back on the sand. I understand I've chosen to undergo this whole process of healing myself. When I chose that path, I had no idea what it would entail...or maybe I did and I'm only remembering it as it happens. The illusion of it All still amazes me and I will always be greatful for the souls who have been present for me in this process. What a gift.

Everyday Osho

From the book 'Everyday Osho; 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now'

The Real Robbers.

There is nothing to fear because we don't have anything to lose. All that can be robbed from you is not worthwhile, so why fear, why suspect, why doubt?

These are the real robbers: doubt, suspicion, fear. they destroy your very possibility of celebration. So while on earth, celebrate the earth. While this moment lasts, enjoy it to the very core. Because of fear we miss many things. Because of fear we cannot love, or even if we love it is always half-hearted, it is always so-so. It is always up to a certain extent and not beyond that. We always come to a point beyond which we are afraid, so we get stuck there. We cannot move deeply in friendship because of fear. We cannot pray deeply because of fear.

Be conscious but never be cautious. The distinction is very subtle. Consciousness is not rooted in fear. Caution is rooted in fear. One is cautious so that one might never go wrong, but then one cannot go very far. The very fear will not allow you to investigate new lifestyles, new channels for your energy, new directions, new lands. You will always tread the same path again and again, shuttling backward and forward- like a freight train!

Seeing Things Most Others Won't

I had a chat with a great friend of mine late last night in that 'just before bed sleepiness'. It was as if the Universe was planting seeds for my dream time. Reality for him, has slowly been shifting from what he thought he knew to what he really knows deep down in his soul. It's been amazing observing him embrace this shift and venture forward on his journey, as it is for me to watch us all, including myself do the same.

He offered to share a piece of something with me; something physical that I could have with me always as opposed to inspirational or motivational which, in time, might definitely blend in with all the other verbal contributions living in my. It was something he discovered and embraced as one of those 'Universal signs' from above and although I was extremely elated, I also wondered "Why me?" The old "I couldn't possibly deserve that" came up. So I asked him, "Why me?" And as clear as day he said, "because you have vision."

Thank you Dan for the photo :)

The hawk has vision, the eagle has vision, I've been seeing all these amazing creatures -repeatedly- with vision and have been missing the message! I've been missing that nature too, not just humans, serves as our mirror! What you see in others is what you already possess yourself. It's kind of like that saying 'takes one to know one'.

And it may come across slightly less dramatic as it did to me in the moment because words...well they're words, as opposed to feelings. At the time though, it sort of stopped my in my tracks. Another piece of my personal puzzle fell into place. I had remembered something I didn't even know I had forgot.

So I thanked him and expressed my state of shock and gratitude and he replied, "anyone who can up and travel the western countryside with no particular agenda and pull it off masterfully must see things most others won't." Like hello... those are words of wisdom. full of insight. It may seem like a pretty straight forward comment... when you're listening with your ears or reading it with your eyes; when you listen with the heart it takes on an entirely new message. And I can appreciate this interaction because for me, sometimes what I say just spills out of me with reckless abandon and although there are more times than not, I have no idea what I said, the person I'm talking to certainly did and they understood it on a level unknown to me.

In a way that point goes back to my last post (Waves of Transformation) about serving a purpose in the moment. Sharing those thoughts, feelings, stories with people because even though you may not need to hear or say it again, maybe you actually do or maybe the person you're talking to does... that's your gift to share with them, trust that it 'popped' into your mind for a reason, let it out and let it go. And besides, who are you to keep your gifts all to yourself, what good does that do?

Maybe that is the "something I see that most others won't" that everything, every thought, feeling, action, on some level is a gift, a blessing, an opportunity for me or for someone else to see, feel, hear, do things differently. And maybe what I see is something deeper, more profound and Universal... that we are all connected energetically, linked by molecules and frequencies and emotions... the hawk has vision. So do I.

Waves of Transformation

"I looked at the Augusteum, and I think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. ... Even in the eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation."

~ Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

This paragraph in the first 74 pages of the book hit me smack in the face. I can't even recollect reading this the last time I read this book last summer and yet this time, something new, something different, reading with new eyes and understanding with new experiences to draw from, it's an important message I am carrying with me.

Humans, like monuments, are each individual in nature, susceptible to changes with the times but always a vessel for some purpose that we may or may not be aware of. And because we are dynamic, changing and always a vessel for a higher good, to stay attached to those ideas or representations of who we think we might be may or may not be keeping us from serving some new and amazing purpose. Although, in the bigger picture of things, we do bring along the ideas and representations that stand the test of time because some of them are innately a part of us and seeming industructable, sometimes letting it all fly away with the wind and doing something different can often show us different aspects of ourselves we might have never seen.

Our hearts will always stand the test of time no matter how chaotic our lives may seem because somewhere in our being there's a strength like no other force we come across. And when we realize we have that strength we find our faith and the courage to trust ourselves and this journey we are on and that regardless of the seeming chaos around us, everything is unfolding exactly as it should for everyone and everything. And among what we might perceive as complete imperfection...really, it's all perfect.

So to the Augusteum, whose original intent was to be a masoleum, that now stands empty waiting for whatever is next, thank you for your incarnation at that moment of being an inspiration for one writer to see the strength and spirit in what seems to be a broken and ruined piece of work. In our connectedness beneath what may seem to be a broken or ruined exterior of a fellow sister or brother there is also that strength and it's our job to do what we can or what we are guided to do to see through that rough exterior and recognize that strength in each other and if need be embody it, transcend it and encourage those who choose to ignore it, to acknowledge it too.

When I Was Younger

When I was younger I was damn cute; chubby as a laughing Buddha, but I was a cute baby! Thanks to my sister posting an entire album of us growing up I had the opportunity to look back at what I was like as a kid.

Sweet as can be, mischevious as hell, a little diva with an attitude, always up for an adventure and most of all fun. In reality, not much has changed. I changed my FB profile pic to this one...

...and when ever I look at it I giggle. For one, I love looking at pictures of myself, but more than that I can see how excited I am to get to wherever I'm going! I'm climbing a fence for crying out loud, running from the crowd to something that caught my attention...again, not much has changed!

Then I look at what I'm doing right now, how great my life is and I look back at that picture and ask, "Did you ever have any idea, little girl, of the friggin' adventures you'd go on in this lifetime?!" And something tells me that I did.

And on those days when I feel like I don't want to do much because I'm not in a good mood, I look at that face and it all just sorta melts away and I remember how great it is to live life with curiousity, adventure and fun.

Life is a series of cycles, sometimes you need to ride out the tide and other times you need to play in the waves.